Ay yes, the label Angry Black Woman, otherwise known as A.B.W. If you ever think of raising an objection to something you don’t like in public, be very very careful as you could be labeled as the Angry Black Women. At school if you find that you would like to tell the teacher a piece of your mind for not giving your darling son or daughter the quality time that they need, be warned as you could be labeled as an Angry Black Woman. In a designer store, where the shop assistants ignore you for the other lady with the better handbag, pretend you don’t care or you could be called an Angry Black Woman. If you are in the park and your son accidently hits another precious child and the parent comes over ready to tear into you, just smile and quickly apologize or you could be called an Angry Black Woman. As a middle class black mum guess what you are on a fine line between being called a fish wife and respectable and don’t you know it.
I am sick of talking about my hair, yet it seems that just like the British weather, my hair is the next go to topic of conversation after the kids. Enough already.
Here is the usual conversation I have at least once a month with one of my white girlfriends about my hair…
“No I don’t wash my hair everyday as it will dry out my scalp, also I have to put lots of oil in too after a wash, which takes ages.”
“Oh you don’t oil yours?”
“Oil would make my hair greasy and lank, so no, just a wash and blow dry.”
“Your hair looks great.”
“How’s DS getting on in his new class?”
Here is a conversation I have with my black girlfriends about my hair..
“Hey, I love your hair, where do you get it done? (Eye it up and possibly touch it!)”
“I go to this lady, she’s got the Gospel channel on throughout though, but the results are worth it and she’s reasonably priced! What you plan to do with your hair?”
“Not sure…might just cut it all off again!”
“You should check out my gospel lady first and get some plaits in.”
“No blooming way. I would rather twist it every night, than sit through the Gospel channel. I’ve already had enough religious brain-washing as a child to last me a lifetime.”
“Which church did you go to?”
“Don’t get me started…I’m an atheist now!”
(Doubles over with laughter)
So, as a middle class black mum in London, how should one dress to stand out from the other black mums who are not? Of course, to most white middle class people, most black women are already summed up as a single mother, living in a council flat, eating out of Iceland, but how do you smash that myth? Well you have to start in the way you dress! A middle class black mum does not wear loud clothes and I mean skin tight multi-coloured, sparkly stuff with extra long nails and thigh high boots on the school run, whether they are in fashion or not! Your white girlfriends might be able to get away with this look, but guess what you won’t be! If you would like to nurture some great friendships on both sides of the class divide, you will need to dress more demure! Think a bit churchy norm core, but with some trendy fashion pieces thrown in. I usually give Net-A-Porter a whirl for a bit of inspiration and buy one fashion piece per month from them. This could either be a lovely pair of shoes or a nice shirt, that shows off it’s superior quality and then mix that in with some plain high street numbers. You will be surprised how many people always spot the Net-A -Porter piece every time! When it comes to your hair though, that’s another story.